


I Love You, Now Can I Have A PBJ?

by AutiFics



Series: Bumble Bee Boots [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Autism, Autistic Castiel, Deadpool References, Destiel - Freeform, Feels, Fluff, Humor, M/M, SO MUCH FLUFF, but he was kind of a third wheel, kind of, obviously, sam was in the original
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 08:41:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13830540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutiFics/pseuds/AutiFics
Summary: Castiel watches Deadpool, confesses his love for Dean, and asks for a PBJ for lunch.





	I Love You, Now Can I Have A PBJ?

Castiel was sitting on the floor of the living room in his regular outfit: a pair of loose sweatpants, a sensory-safe pink shirt, and his favorite bee-themed rain boots. They were black-yellow striped, with a small bumble bee stamped on the ankle, and Castiel wore them no matter where he was going. Right now, for example, he wasn’t going anywhere. He was watching the Deadpool movie—Dean warned him that there was a lot of swearing and sex, but that it would be okay as long as he kept the volume down low enough—with his trench coat draped over his lap, his fingers picking lightly at the buttons. He hadn’t understood why he had such an attachment to the coat, but Dean had likened it to a blanket or comfort item used by human children, which Castiel did understand. He thought that made sense, as the coat did bring him a lot of comfort. Sometimes he used it to cover his eyes during the sexual parts of movies, which made him very uncomfortable and awkward. Dean told him that he didn’t have to watch those movies, that they could just switch the show, but Castiel liked the movies overall. He liked Deadpool. It was funny.

“Hey Cas, how’s it going?” Dean asked as he walked through the living room.

“Good. I have a question.”

“Well, let’s see if I have an answer,” the older Winchester brother smiled, plopping himself down on the couch beside his best friend.

“Why did Wade Wilson not go back to Vanessa when he turned back alive?” It was something that Castiel was still having trouble understanding. Wade liked Vanessa, so why didn’t he go back to her? Weren’t you supposed to stay with somebody if you loved them?

“Well,” Dean thought for a moment, “He thought that her life was better without him, because of how damaged he was after he escaped the fire. Remember when people were looking at him funny on the streets and making fun of how he looked? He didn’t want Vanessa to have to deal with that, so he left to find a way to fix himself.”

“But Vanessa would have still loved him,” Castiel reasoned, “And he still loved her. I still don’t understand why he cared what those other people thought about his face.”

“He thought that going back to Vanessa would make her sad.”

“But then he was sad,” Castiel scrunched his nose up, “He wanted her to be happy so bad that he was okay with being sad?”

“Yeah. That’s how we know that he loved her.”

“Like when you tried to leave me alone when I was Emmanuel?”

“...Kind of,” he smiled, “Kind of like that.”

“Or when I tried to stay away from you when we went to Purgatory?”

“Kind of,” Dean gave another smile, “...Who’s your favorite?”

“Dopinder,” Castiel smiled. “Dopinder the cab driver is my favorite.”

“Really?” Dean snorted. “Why?”

“He is an admirable soldier,” Cas explained sincerely, “He was asked to serve a man he did not know for a just cause, when offered no reward, and did so simply for the reward of knowing he helped a hero serve justice in the world. ...He would make a good soldier, if his arms were not so weak.”

Dean gave another snort. “I’m glad you like Dopinder. What do you think of Deadpool?”

“He is not an honorable soldier by the standard definition, but...I find that he obeys his own code of morals, and I can—as you say—get behind that. He kind of reminds me of you.”

“Me?”

“Yes,” Castiel smiled, kicking his feet out before letting them fall again. “You follow your own code of morals as well. You’re not technically honorable, but I find you to be so.”

“Uh...thanks,” Dean gave another awkward smile. His attempt to change the topic had circled back around to the subject he was trying to avoid: the complication in his relationship with the seraphim. “What do you think of Vanessa?”

“Vanessa?” He repeated while he kicked his legs. “She was a sex worker, dependent on the needs and wants of other people, until Wade found her. Then she chose freedom. She always had the choice, but she didn’t make the right one until she met him, and realized some things about herself. That’s kind of like me.”

“What do you want for lunch?” Dean asked, moving to get off the couch.

“How do you know if you love a person?” Cas inquired.

“Um….”

“Is it kind of like when you want them to be happy so bad that you’ll be sad?”

“Yeah,” Dean confirmed after some hesitation.

“Or when you’d rather be alone without them than with someone else?”

“Yeah,” Dean answered honestly again.

“Is it like what you felt for Lisa?”

“...No,” the green-eyed young man admitted, “I liked Lisa, but she wasn’t—we didn’t really love each other. We were friends, who lived together, but what we felt for each other….”

“Is it like what Sam felt for Jess?”

“I don’t know. I think so, but I don’t know for sure.”

“Is it like—”

“It’s when you can’t imagine yourself living without someone,” Dean interrupted, unwilling to continue assessing different relationships. “It’s when you want to go to sleep beside them and wake up with them the next morning—even if nothing happens. It’s when you want them to be happy so bad you’ll be sad, yeah. It’s when you protect them no matter what, and when you...sometimes you lie, cheat, or steal to keep them happy. It’s when...it’s when you’d do anything for them no matter what’ll happen to you.”

“I think I might love you,” Cas declared simply, still staring at his boots.

“Cas—”

“PBJ,” the angel interrupted.

“What?”

“You asked what I would like for lunch. I would like a PBJ.”

“Cas, buddy, that’s not something you can just leave alone.”

“The sandwich?”

“No, feathers, saying ‘I love you’,” Dean gave a smile, “It’s kind of a big deal. When you tell someone you love them you have to talk to them about it to see if they feel the same way, you can’t just move on to what you want for lunch.”

“Oh. Do you think you love me too?” Cas inquired, lifting his trench coat so he could smell the comforting scent he had become so familiar with over the years.

“Yes,” Dean’s face broke out into a smile. “I think I love you too.”

“That’s good,” Cas acknowledged, “...Can I have a PBJ for lunch now?”

Dean let out the biggest laugh he’d had for a long time. “Sure, Cas.”


End file.
